Fess Up Random Tuesday

*I confess I hate it when it feels like there is a bug on my face so I slap myself just to find out it was a piece of hair.

*I confess I feel like I am going to contract some vicious disease  just walking past the boys’ bathroom.

*I confess doing laundry of the male species must be in the Top 10 Most Disgusting Jobs!

*OK…I confess…I am listening to Christmas music today.

*I confess lately I have had a crazy obsession of buying Christmas decor.

*I confess a man must have come up with “Working out helps lessen menstraul cramps” Because it is a load of bullshit!

*I confess I have been so busy, I look forward to therapy every Monday just so I know I will be able to sit for 50 minutes straight!

*I confess I am so excited for our WHOLE family to be together for Christmas this year!

*I confess my son’s attitude didn’t get the memo that mom has 1 more month until the teenage years!

*I confess I should be cleaning right now.

*I confess life has been pretty good lately…hectic…but good!

 

Fess Up Friday

*I confess men really are from Mars or some far off planet! I don’t understend them at all!

*I confess it’s all fun and games until the alcohol runs out!

*I confess dog snot on my pants isn’t all that attractive.

*I confess vengeance isn’t part of who I am.  It should be though…I have come up with soooome good shit!

*I confess either I need to get a job real soon to buy some new clothes or stop losing weight. 

*I confess I am surprised I have not been admitted to the nut house yet or at least have ulcers.

*I confess I must have done some pretty bad things in my previous life for karma to follow me to this one and still be giving me hell!

*I confess if I hear “I forgot” one more time, my kids will be walking around with messages on their forehead written in Sharpie and a mirror duct taped in their hand so they can read it.

*I confess I better start saving for next year’s school supplies now!

*I confess I feel so bad for the little guy on Kaleb’s football team.  He broke his arm tonight at practice.  And I also feel guilty thanking God it wasn’t my kid.

*I confess after about 5 weeks of eating extremely healthy, I would kill for a filet mignon with garlic bernaise sauce, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed carrots and broccoli, a pitcher of strawberry margaritas, and an ooey gooey chocolate lava cake.

*I confess I find it very frightening that I think going to the gym and half killing myself is fun.

*I confess if a certain husband remembered a certain anniversary, I wouldn’t be butt hurt if I got sent some flowers.  Hell…I would be happy with a card!

*I confess I still miss you.

Fess Up Friday

*I confess driving behind a truck full of cow shit is just one stinky situation! Gotta love living in the country!

*I confess there are 5 more days until school starts.

*I confess I am stretching to get limber so when the above day happens, I am ready to dance in celebration!

*I confess I gave myself a pat on the back and a big ol’ high five when I lost 17lbs. in one month.  I deserved it!

*I confess my reward for making it through football practices is a glass of sangria. I deserve that too!

*I confess having a completed fenced in backyard is wonderful as I can just open the door and let the dog out.  Now only if the dog would go out the door without me.

*I confess sometimes I cry as not having my TX friends around just leaves me feeling empty.

*I confess I have acclimatized to WA weather. 80 degrees is just way too hot.  Anything above that is scorching!

*I confess after almost a month and dozens of applications summitted…still no job.

*I confess I used 3/4 of a box of tissues last night.  That’s a lot of snot people!

*I confess trying to change your way of thinking to better yourself is harder than losing weight!

*I confess time feels like it has been in slow motion. 

 

Fess Up Friday

*I confess I kicked Suzy Homemaker’s ass out the door!

*I confess Key Bank should be renamed “Senior Citizen Bank”

*I confess I don’t know who this person is that took over my body…but I like her a lot!

*I confess the kids are home…hello laundry, dishes, toys, messes…..

*I confess I think I keep getting defected bottles of tequila.  They all seem to get empty.

*I confess I wish I was in TX with my friends! I miss them!

*I confess the power of your mind is endless if you believe in yourself.

*I confess this countdown is going to draaaag onnnnnn forevvvvvveeeerrrr.  2 weeks down. 10 weeks and 3 days to go.  UGH

*I confess some women are clueless…or maybe they just choose to be.

*I confess the possibility of getting the job I really want is totally making me giddy!

*I confess losing 8 lbs. in 9 days is making me even more giddy.  I just wish I knew where those 8 lbs were taken from!

 

FESS UP FRIDAY

*I confess if you really want to do Burlesque…SHAVE YOUR PITS FIRST!

*I confess bachelorette parties are annoying, sloppy drunks. SIGN ME UP!

*I confess I didn’t think this year could be any worse than last…boy was I wrong!

*I confess I thought being home totally alone (well except Torque) was going to be awesome. The only thing awesome about it is my bathroom stays clean. Sooooo bored!

*I confess that being said, as soon as my kids step foot in the door I am sure I will be thinking “Oh my goodness I wish I was alone again”

*I confess doing this whole football thing with my 8 yr old without my husband home totally freaks me out! I’m not sure what goes where or any of the rules.

*I confess you need a small loan to pay for school supplies these days.

*I confess 11 weeks are going to be very loooong.

*I confess my couch in my bedroom is upholstered in dog hair.

*I confess women will sell their ex-husbands things dirt cheap.  Yes…that is how I got a really nice pasta roller for only a buck!

*I confess WA state loves its traffic circles!

 

Fess Up Friday

*I confess jelly is not spreadable.

*I confess according to the glass recyclable containers, we won the monthly contest to being the biggest alcohol consumers in the neighborhood. Hey, it was a rough month!

*I confess if I could find a psych hospital that offered daily massages and hot tubs as part of their treatment, I would totally commit myself just for a vacation!

*I confess just once in my life I want to be that irresponsible person and not have a care in the world!

*I confess according to my 6 yr old step-daughter, it is possible to grow a Georgia peach tree from apple seeds! I love what kids come out with!

*I confess my step-daughter makes the best plastic food! Mmmm mmmm good!

*I confess the kids decide when they want to go to McDonalds according to what toy is being featured in the Happy Meal. Apparently Pokemon is a big deal.

*I confess if you are going to have a Birthday party for your kid, make sure you show up before your guests and not 30 minutes late and then not even apologize!

*I confess I can’t confess to half the stuff I want to confess to as confessing those confessions to strangers would , I have to confess, just be confessional suicide.

Fuss Up Friday

*I confess jelly is not spreadable.

*I confess according to the glass recycable containers, we won the monthly contest to being the biggest alcohol consumers in the neighborhood. Hey, it was a rough month!

*I confess if I could find a psych hospital that offered daily massages and hot tubs as part of their treatment, I would totally commit myself just for a vacation!

*I confess just once in my life I want to be that irresponsible person and not have a care in the world!

*I confess according to my 6 yr old step-daughter, it is possible to grow a Georgia peach tree from apple seeds! I love what kids come out with!

*I confess my step-daughter makes the best plastic food! Mmmm mmmm good!

*I confess the kids decide when they want to go to McDonalds according to what toy is being featured in the Happy Meal. Apparently Pokemon is a big deal.

*I confess if you are going to have a Birthday party for your kid, make sure you show up before your guests and not 30 minutes late and then not even apologize!

*I confess I can’t confess to half the stuff I want to confess to as confessing those confessions to strangers would , I have to confess, just be confessional suicide.

Fess Up Friday

*I confess it is a great feeling having the WHOLE family under one roof!

*I confess I feel Suzy Homemaker exiting my life! YAHOO!

*I confess I will need another 6 pk of cheerleader beer as I am drinking the one for the BBQ tomorrow.

*I confess I need to get real with myself…one 6pk isn’t enough anyway!

*I confess I am addicted to therapy. And I am ok with that!

*I confess listening to the radio today I learned that the average American spends 2 weeks of their life picking their nose.  GROSS!

*I confess sometimes something very traumatic in ones life can have some positive outcomes.

*I confess I still suck at doing girl’s hair. Sorry Bailey!

*I confess my step-daughter is small enough she could actually ride our dog like a pony.  Saddle up!

*I confess knowing one of my closest friends is moving to Europe and I won’t get to see her before she leaves. That just sucks!

*I confess I am going to have a whole week all by myself in the end of July…WTF am I going to do? (would be a great time to see said friend from previous confession!)

*I confess I have all the insight in the world, and working on fixing what is wrong.

*I confess I believe I would make a great head shrinker! Who wants to pay for me to get my degree?

*I confess everyone should have a mantra to say every morning to themselves!

*I confess if anyone ever said I wasn’t loyal or committed…I would punch them in their face.

*I confess I have come to a conclusion…I am strong, not stupid.

*I confess my husband is still the one I desire the most. 

*I confess Nerf darts are now carrots and a hand full of air is now ranch dressing for dipping.

*I confess girls have WAY better imaginations than boys!

*I confess Torque is really the smartest dog ever.  How do I know? He acts really dumb all the time not letting anyone know just how smart he is. Genius!

*I confess it sucks when you look at the clock and HOLY SHIT it is 9:30 at night…thanks to living in WA where the sun doesn’t disappear til at least 10:30pm in the summer.

 

 

Fess Up Friday

*I confess the sun has no business being out at 4:45am! Sad thing is…it’s only June, it will get even earlier!

*I confess when 50 degrees feels warm, I worry I will roast at just 80!

*I confess duct tape can’t fix everything that is broken.

*I confess since it is going to actually be sunny the next couple days, I think I am going to be outside getting my sunburn on!

*I confess next week I am going to have a switch surgically implanted in my brain so I can turn my mind off.  This girl needs some sleep!

*I confess being assertive is new for me and it is a work in progress.

*I confess I may not be the best mother out there, but I do my best with what I have and I am proud of it!

*I confess adults play pretend too.

*I confess I am in dire need of getting on a plane, going to TX, and have a girls’ weekend in Austin! Now who is willing to fund this adventure for me?

That’s it for this week. What do you have to Fess Up about?

Fess Up Friday

*I confess Cling Wrap does not cling.

*I confess house work would get done a whole lot faster if a thing called a computer was never invented.

*I confess I cheat on my hubby when he is away. I sleep with a phone, 2 remotes, and a computer in my bed.

*I confess it is nice to finally have a friend here.

*I confess I am setting up a “Send Lisa To Texas” fund. I need about $1000.  $250 for plane and the rest to have fun on!

*I confess it depresses me that people don’t ID me anymore for alcohol because they think I look way over 21.

*I confess when doctors and other people praise me for doing such a good job mothering and caring for my son with Asperger’s, I feel like I am some sort of master illusionist as I don’t feel like that at all!

*I confess if I ever find that S.O.B. who keeps doing the rain dance, he won’t be dancing any longer!

*I confess I wish in my world a vacation was considered “unfortunate and unexpected”  Just imagine what a good day would be like! Filled with rainbows and butterflies I guess.

*I confess when half a tube of toothpaste is smeared all over the bathroom sink goes to prove that my kids did not inherit my clean gene.

*I confess if dog hair was worth money, I’d be filthy rich!