Fess Up Random Tuesday

November 22, 2011

*I confess I hate it when it feels like there is a bug on my face so I slap myself just to find out it was a piece of hair.

*I confess I feel like I am going to contract some vicious disease  just walking past the boys’ bathroom.

*I confess doing laundry of the male species must be in the Top 10 Most Disgusting Jobs!

*OK…I confess…I am listening to Christmas music today.

*I confess lately I have had a crazy obsession of buying Christmas decor.

*I confess a man must have come up with “Working out helps lessen menstraul cramps” Because it is a load of bullshit!

*I confess I have been so busy, I look forward to therapy every Monday just so I know I will be able to sit for 50 minutes straight!

*I confess I am so excited for our WHOLE family to be together for Christmas this year!

*I confess my son’s attitude didn’t get the memo that mom has 1 more month until the teenage years!

*I confess I should be cleaning right now.

*I confess life has been pretty good lately…hectic…but good!

 

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Fess Up Friday

September 1, 2011

*I confess men really are from Mars or some far off planet! I don’t understend them at all!

*I confess it’s all fun and games until the alcohol runs out!

*I confess dog snot on my pants isn’t all that attractive.

*I confess vengeance isn’t part of who I am.  It should be though…I have come up with soooome good shit!

*I confess either I need to get a job real soon to buy some new clothes or stop losing weight. 

*I confess I am surprised I have not been admitted to the nut house yet or at least have ulcers.

*I confess I must have done some pretty bad things in my previous life for karma to follow me to this one and still be giving me hell!

*I confess if I hear “I forgot” one more time, my kids will be walking around with messages on their forehead written in Sharpie and a mirror duct taped in their hand so they can read it.

*I confess I better start saving for next year’s school supplies now!

*I confess I feel so bad for the little guy on Kaleb’s football team.  He broke his arm tonight at practice.  And I also feel guilty thanking God it wasn’t my kid.

*I confess after about 5 weeks of eating extremely healthy, I would kill for a filet mignon with garlic bernaise sauce, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed carrots and broccoli, a pitcher of strawberry margaritas, and an ooey gooey chocolate lava cake.

*I confess I find it very frightening that I think going to the gym and half killing myself is fun.

*I confess if a certain husband remembered a certain anniversary, I wouldn’t be butt hurt if I got sent some flowers.  Hell…I would be happy with a card!

*I confess I still miss you.

Fess Up Friday

August 26, 2011

*I confess driving behind a truck full of cow shit is just one stinky situation! Gotta love living in the country!

*I confess there are 5 more days until school starts.

*I confess I am stretching to get limber so when the above day happens, I am ready to dance in celebration!

*I confess I gave myself a pat on the back and a big ol’ high five when I lost 17lbs. in one month.  I deserved it!

*I confess my reward for making it through football practices is a glass of sangria. I deserve that too!

*I confess having a completed fenced in backyard is wonderful as I can just open the door and let the dog out.  Now only if the dog would go out the door without me.

*I confess sometimes I cry as not having my TX friends around just leaves me feeling empty.

*I confess I have acclimatized to WA weather. 80 degrees is just way too hot.  Anything above that is scorching!

*I confess after almost a month and dozens of applications summitted…still no job.

*I confess I used 3/4 of a box of tissues last night.  That’s a lot of snot people!

*I confess trying to change your way of thinking to better yourself is harder than losing weight!

*I confess time feels like it has been in slow motion. 

 

Fess Up Friday

August 5, 2011

*I confess I kicked Suzy Homemaker’s ass out the door!

*I confess Key Bank should be renamed “Senior Citizen Bank”

*I confess I don’t know who this person is that took over my body…but I like her a lot!

*I confess the kids are home…hello laundry, dishes, toys, messes…..

*I confess I think I keep getting defected bottles of tequila.  They all seem to get empty.

*I confess I wish I was in TX with my friends! I miss them!

*I confess the power of your mind is endless if you believe in yourself.

*I confess this countdown is going to draaaag onnnnnn forevvvvvveeeerrrr.  2 weeks down. 10 weeks and 3 days to go.  UGH

*I confess some women are clueless…or maybe they just choose to be.

*I confess the possibility of getting the job I really want is totally making me giddy!

*I confess losing 8 lbs. in 9 days is making me even more giddy.  I just wish I knew where those 8 lbs were taken from!

 

FESS UP FRIDAY

July 29, 2011

*I confess if you really want to do Burlesque…SHAVE YOUR PITS FIRST!

*I confess bachelorette parties are annoying, sloppy drunks. SIGN ME UP!

*I confess I didn’t think this year could be any worse than last…boy was I wrong!

*I confess I thought being home totally alone (well except Torque) was going to be awesome. The only thing awesome about it is my bathroom stays clean. Sooooo bored!

*I confess that being said, as soon as my kids step foot in the door I am sure I will be thinking “Oh my goodness I wish I was alone again”

*I confess doing this whole football thing with my 8 yr old without my husband home totally freaks me out! I’m not sure what goes where or any of the rules.

*I confess you need a small loan to pay for school supplies these days.

*I confess 11 weeks are going to be very loooong.

*I confess my couch in my bedroom is upholstered in dog hair.

*I confess women will sell their ex-husbands things dirt cheap.  Yes…that is how I got a really nice pasta roller for only a buck!

*I confess WA state loves its traffic circles!

 

Fess Up Friday

June 24, 2011

*I confess jelly is not spreadable.

*I confess according to the glass recyclable containers, we won the monthly contest to being the biggest alcohol consumers in the neighborhood. Hey, it was a rough month!

*I confess if I could find a psych hospital that offered daily massages and hot tubs as part of their treatment, I would totally commit myself just for a vacation!

*I confess just once in my life I want to be that irresponsible person and not have a care in the world!

*I confess according to my 6 yr old step-daughter, it is possible to grow a Georgia peach tree from apple seeds! I love what kids come out with!

*I confess my step-daughter makes the best plastic food! Mmmm mmmm good!

*I confess the kids decide when they want to go to McDonalds according to what toy is being featured in the Happy Meal. Apparently Pokemon is a big deal.

*I confess if you are going to have a Birthday party for your kid, make sure you show up before your guests and not 30 minutes late and then not even apologize!

*I confess I can’t confess to half the stuff I want to confess to as confessing those confessions to strangers would , I have to confess, just be confessional suicide.

Fuss Up Friday

June 24, 2011

*I confess jelly is not spreadable.

*I confess according to the glass recycable containers, we won the monthly contest to being the biggest alcohol consumers in the neighborhood. Hey, it was a rough month!

*I confess if I could find a psych hospital that offered daily massages and hot tubs as part of their treatment, I would totally commit myself just for a vacation!

*I confess just once in my life I want to be that irresponsible person and not have a care in the world!

*I confess according to my 6 yr old step-daughter, it is possible to grow a Georgia peach tree from apple seeds! I love what kids come out with!

*I confess my step-daughter makes the best plastic food! Mmmm mmmm good!

*I confess the kids decide when they want to go to McDonalds according to what toy is being featured in the Happy Meal. Apparently Pokemon is a big deal.

*I confess if you are going to have a Birthday party for your kid, make sure you show up before your guests and not 30 minutes late and then not even apologize!

*I confess I can’t confess to half the stuff I want to confess to as confessing those confessions to strangers would , I have to confess, just be confessional suicide.

Fess Up Friday

June 17, 2011

*I confess it is a great feeling having the WHOLE family under one roof!

*I confess I feel Suzy Homemaker exiting my life! YAHOO!

*I confess I will need another 6 pk of cheerleader beer as I am drinking the one for the BBQ tomorrow.

*I confess I need to get real with myself…one 6pk isn’t enough anyway!

*I confess I am addicted to therapy. And I am ok with that!

*I confess listening to the radio today I learned that the average American spends 2 weeks of their life picking their nose.  GROSS!

*I confess sometimes something very traumatic in ones life can have some positive outcomes.

*I confess I still suck at doing girl’s hair. Sorry Bailey!

*I confess my step-daughter is small enough she could actually ride our dog like a pony.  Saddle up!

*I confess knowing one of my closest friends is moving to Europe and I won’t get to see her before she leaves. That just sucks!

*I confess I am going to have a whole week all by myself in the end of July…WTF am I going to do? (would be a great time to see said friend from previous confession!)

*I confess I have all the insight in the world, and working on fixing what is wrong.

*I confess I believe I would make a great head shrinker! Who wants to pay for me to get my degree?

*I confess everyone should have a mantra to say every morning to themselves!

*I confess if anyone ever said I wasn’t loyal or committed…I would punch them in their face.

*I confess I have come to a conclusion…I am strong, not stupid.

*I confess my husband is still the one I desire the most. 

*I confess Nerf darts are now carrots and a hand full of air is now ranch dressing for dipping.

*I confess girls have WAY better imaginations than boys!

*I confess Torque is really the smartest dog ever.  How do I know? He acts really dumb all the time not letting anyone know just how smart he is. Genius!

*I confess it sucks when you look at the clock and HOLY SHIT it is 9:30 at night…thanks to living in WA where the sun doesn’t disappear til at least 10:30pm in the summer.

 

 

Fess Up Friday

June 3, 2011

*I confess the sun has no business being out at 4:45am! Sad thing is…it’s only June, it will get even earlier!

*I confess when 50 degrees feels warm, I worry I will roast at just 80!

*I confess duct tape can’t fix everything that is broken.

*I confess since it is going to actually be sunny the next couple days, I think I am going to be outside getting my sunburn on!

*I confess next week I am going to have a switch surgically implanted in my brain so I can turn my mind off.  This girl needs some sleep!

*I confess being assertive is new for me and it is a work in progress.

*I confess I may not be the best mother out there, but I do my best with what I have and I am proud of it!

*I confess adults play pretend too.

*I confess I am in dire need of getting on a plane, going to TX, and have a girls’ weekend in Austin! Now who is willing to fund this adventure for me?

That’s it for this week. What do you have to Fess Up about?

Fess Up Friday

April 15, 2011

*I confess Cling Wrap does not cling.

*I confess house work would get done a whole lot faster if a thing called a computer was never invented.

*I confess I cheat on my hubby when he is away. I sleep with a phone, 2 remotes, and a computer in my bed.

*I confess it is nice to finally have a friend here.

*I confess I am setting up a “Send Lisa To Texas” fund. I need about $1000.  $250 for plane and the rest to have fun on!

*I confess it depresses me that people don’t ID me anymore for alcohol because they think I look way over 21.

*I confess when doctors and other people praise me for doing such a good job mothering and caring for my son with Asperger’s, I feel like I am some sort of master illusionist as I don’t feel like that at all!

*I confess if I ever find that S.O.B. who keeps doing the rain dance, he won’t be dancing any longer!

*I confess I wish in my world a vacation was considered “unfortunate and unexpected”  Just imagine what a good day would be like! Filled with rainbows and butterflies I guess.

*I confess when half a tube of toothpaste is smeared all over the bathroom sink goes to prove that my kids did not inherit my clean gene.

*I confess if dog hair was worth money, I’d be filthy rich!